Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. In these arguments we are rarely trying to connect. Being right is the name of the game. Why do we do this? For many, it is an attempt to meet needs for safety, acceptance and understanding. What we usually receive, though, is discontentment, discord, and hopelessness. What would happen if we wanted to connect more than we wanted to be right or to win arguments? This theme is actually my personal mantra. In charged conversations, it can be easy to forget our goal to connect because we are so experienced in right fights. Consider trying to center yourself in these moments by asking yourself, “What do I want? What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right?” No matter what the situation is, try this answer: “To connect!” And ask, “Am I likely to be successful if I say what is on the tip of my tongue?” Invariably, the answer is no. ...